There is no greater pain than the loss of someone you love. There is no getting over this pain either. Anyone who says “It will get better” is either lying to you or has no comprehension of the deep pain that comes from loss. I’m here to tell you how it actually is so that you might be able to better prepare yourself. I’ve survived more losses than I would like to count but my experiences have taught me some valuable lessons that I hope can benefit others.
Here’s the whole truth and nothing but the hard truth.
It will not get better. You will not get over it. Things will not get easier. There will forever be a small hole inside of you. It will not go away. Nothing can fill that hole. No one will ever be able to replace the person you have lost. If you do not take care of yourself the hole will grow and it will consume you. You will be okay but you will never be the same.
Everything will remind you of them at first. It will hurt. Things you enjoyed will make you sad. Pictures of them will be painful to look at. Activities you once did with them will make you depressed. You will be able to enjoy your old activities with time but they will never be the same. You’ll find yourself laughing and then crying. Be prepared to find yourself crying at random moments. Cold spoons and tissues will be your best friends at work.
Their birthdays will hurt. Holidays will feel like hell.
You will get stronger because you have to. This is hard for a lot of people to hear and to understand. You have to toughen up otherwise you will find yourself crying every second you let your guard down. You have to keep pushing forward because you have to. Everyone has their own personal reason for going, you need to find yours. Whether you stay strong for family, friends, or yourself it doesn’t matter but you have to.
Do not let the hole inside you consume you because once it has it is so hard to fill. Keep yourself busy but don’t forget to take time to cry. Take time to really feel the pain you are feeling and then let it go. Set it aside. The pain will always be there but you don’t have to let it dictate your life. Learn to live with the pain, it is a part of you now.
You will never be the same but you will be okay.
