There has been this amazing person I have know my entire life. A few years back at the beginning of the pandemic I really started to notice them. Everyday I would watch them be hit with one struggle after another and they overcame them all. Even on the days where they seemed to be struggling I watched them put a smile on their face and carry on.
This person is everything I want.
There was a time in my life where I actually really hated them. They were lazy and pessimistic for such a long time. They were convinced the world was out to get them and believed their bad luck controlled their life. But I watched them take the reigns of their life back. I watched them overcome their bad habits and form new healthy habits. Over the years I have watched their paintings transform from these gloomy dark abstract images forming a swirling nightmare upon the canvas into bright beautiful galactic scene.
When they were younger, when I hated them, it wasn’t them I hated but the choices they made. They self-sabotaged all the time. Their life was hard but they used those hard moments as an excuse to participate in self-destructive behaviors. I’ve lost count of how many times I tried to give them good advice that they blatantly ignored. But despite the decades of living a chaotic and destructive life, they managed to turn things around and become the beautiful soul I am now seriously smitten with.
It took me some time to really realize just how much I love them and how deep the love I have for them is. They make me happier then any person I have ever met. They are kind, they love nature, they love long walks, they are a fantastic cook, and an okay baker. They spoil me and treat me the way I wish to be treated. Even the parts of them that aren’t “perfect” are perfect to me. I love them more then I love anyone else.
The person I’m so madly in love with is me.
From the core of my soul I love myself. I love who I am, who I have become, and the person I will continue to grow into.
I love me.
